We all joke about our not-so-great mothering moments...our "Mom of the Year Awards."
I'm just here to tell you I win.
Today I was giving Matthew and Sophie a snack of raisins and fish crackers when I looked up at the clock and realized I needed to leave ASAP to get Matthew to preschool on time. My mom was going to be home and she said I could put Sophie down for a nap and leave her here while I took Matthew to school and ran some errands.
So I'm running around giving commands..."Matthew, put your shoes on! Where is your backpack? Do you have your show-and-tell thing?" I'm not usually so unprepared, but the time just kind of flew by. Of course as I pick Sophie up to put her in bed I realize she is poopy. So I lay her down on my bed to change her and an errant raisin went flying so I picked it up and popped it in her mouth and proceeded to change her diaper.
All of the sudden I noticed she was making an "Eww, gross" face and pushing the raisin out of her mouth.
A sudden fear took hold of me. "It couldn't be..." I thought. So I plucked the raisin out of her mouth and smelled it. Sure enough, it was poop. Not a raisin. Poop! What to do next?! I grabbed a wipe and started wiping out her mouth. She began to gag and couldn't tell if it was because I was wiping too far back or because I just fed her her own poop. Then I offered her some water, all the while thinking, "You're going to need something a lot stronger than water to get rid of that poop taste in your mouth..." Then I brushed her teeth a couple of times and then washed her toothbrush in hot water and soap. Somehow that still didn't seem like enough.
So there you have it. Unless you have ever fed your child their own poop, I win.
