Jonny & Amanda: Wanted: One manly man

Dear Jonny,

Come home quick and be a manly influence on your son. He is surrounded by women all day long and it is starting to show.

Exhibit A: He sings and dances to Taylor Swift with the passion of any 13 year old girl.

Exhibit B: Yesterday I found him walking around in my mock croc peep-toed pumps.

Love,
Amanda

The Magic of Motherhood

5/22 I found Matthew in his closet looking for some shoes today. I said, "Which ones are you looking for?" thinking I could help him look. He replied, "Ummmm, the ones I'm looking for." He wasn't being snotty or anything. Just a perfectly logical answer in his little boy mind.
Emma loves to decorate the house and make it all fancy. In the midst of one such decorating frenzy she told me, "If you want, you can call me designer girl!"
Emma asked me the other day, "Why do the policemans have these, like, wand things that they can conk the bad men on the heads with? Maybe it is so they can under arrest them."
I heard Emma say to the little kids, "You guys! Get out of here! I am making a bra for my boobies!" I looked in their room and sure enough, she was fashioning a bra out of tissue paper.
Matthew gave me a big kiss good night and then announced, "That makes us happy. It makes me happy and it makes you happy. Yep, it makes us happy."
5/11 Matthew fell and had a big red rug burn on his forehead. Emma told him, "Well, at least it is red and matches your hair, perhaps."
5/11 Matthew was telling me a big story about how "I got this on twos-day and this on threes-day..."
4/23 I put Sophie in a time out this morning for hitting Emma. I could tell I really got through to her because when I went to let her out she was hopping all around. She beamed at me and said, "I dancing!"
3/20 Matthew told me today that he wanted to wear some of my jewelry and I told him that boys don't wear jewelry. I know they do, I just didn't want him to wear mine. Emma was listening and replied "Boys can wear earrings if they're in a band and they're rockin' out."
After a game of hide and seek I told the kids they were good hiders. Matthew smiled a self satisfied little smile and said, "Yep! We sure are hidey!"
Emma was eating breakfast and naming all the fingers on her hand, "This is the pointer finger, and this is the ring finger, and this is the pinky..." and Matthew stuck his thumb up and said, "Yeah! And this is the good job finger!"
Matthew and Sophie were in one of their frequent squabbles the other day and Emma informed me that Matthew had hit Sophie and then Matthew informed me that Sophie hit him first. Does your head start to hurt when you read that? Because mine does when I hear it...So I started lecturing Matthew,"Just because she hits you it doesn't mean you hit her back..." and he interrupted me to say, "I didn't hit her back! I hit her tummy!!"
Emma was trying on a bunch of clothes that her cousin had grown out of (thanks Jenny!) and there were three swimming suits in the box. She loved trying them all on but one was a little loose in the bosom area. Emma announced, "This one doesn't fit me. It's a booby poker outer."
I am always reminding Matty "make sure your hoo hoo is down" when he is going potty so we don't have a big mess (and then he doesn't slip and fall in it - true story). So one day at a restaurant I had Matthew and Sophie with me in the stall and as I sat down Matthew reminded me, "Mommy, make sure your hoo hoo is down."
Matthew was in the bathroom going potty and I heard him tooting up a storm. Then I heard him say to no one in particular, "Maybe the toots are talking. And they are saying 'Po-op! Poopy!'"
Dec 21 When I woke up this morning I found Matthew rubbing his hands all over a bra that I had left out by my bed. He told me, "I just love this. It is so beautiful." Do they just come hardwired with a boob attratction?!
Dec 15 Emma picked up a piece of ribbon today and said, "This looks like Santa's wacker for his reindeer." It took me a minute to figure out she meant a whip.
Dec 9 Emma came out of the bathroom this morning just as Matthew was heading in. He told her, "Emma you are stinky!" She was all offended and yelled back at him, "Matthew! It's not my body! It's my POOP!"
Dec 5 Today Emma was eating her lunch and she knocked her napkin on the ground. She announced to me, "Mom. My napkin falled on the ground." I asked her if that was my cue to jump up and get it. She told me, "Welllll, I wouldn't want you to get bored."
Dec 1 Emma had a friend over to play the other day and they were talking about watching the movie "The Princess Diaries." Matthew heard them and complained loudly, "NO! I don't want diarrhea!"

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Wanted: One manly man

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